Been forever since I posted and I am well aware that no one reads this. Possibly because I don't post...but that would make too much sense.

I'm thinking about starting a new blog thing just for me to get back into the habit of writing everyday. However my boyfriend told me quite clearly that there was no point for me to do so since no one would read it. *Mood killer*

I was talking to him via skype but then he had to stop talking to me because his new Halo group wanted to play with him. I'm happy that he is interacting with other ppl (he's not a loner he's just going through a hard time right now), but I'm sad. We are in a long distance relationship and we don't get to talk that much. I've been in a depressed mood all week and this is not helping. Yes, I like texting to him but I need to hear his voice. So we aren't just texting things like "*kisses* I love you!" all day, I get to have a legit conversation with him. Oh well. I'll find something else to do.


On a happier note!
I baked some cupcakes today! I'm not eating them until tomorrow since I'm throwing a party and they are for my guests. My friend Dennis had one...or two and he told me they were yummy. My other friend Paul, who also bakes, made some flax seed bread and some honey walnut butter. I'm going to have some of that for breakfast tomorrow. Yummy toast!

My roommate and I are making Mac'n Cheese in our Pasta Boat and are about to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. YAY COLLEGE!

So much has happened since I last posted. I broke up Joao (he cheated on me). I have a new boyfriend (Edward), I'm in college, and more importantly I am happy. I am incandescently happy. Life is finally going right for me. Thank the Lord. XD

Today is Sunday and just like every Sunday WE tv has a wedding show marathon. I love everything to do with weddings but lately I get really sad when I watch them because all I want to do is plan my own wedding. But obviously I can't. It makes me so sad. I want to spend the rest of my life with Edward, he is my soul mate, my everything, my life. I can't see myself with anyone else and I don't want to be with anyone else. Just him. Forever. I guess that's all I really have to say today.

I am soooo sorry that I haven't written a post in forever. The funny thing is that I write posts in my head all day long and I never get around to posting them. So please forgive me.

Over spring break I went on a cruise and it was all fun and games until I got sun-poisoning (it's like death in sunburn form). It hurt so much and no amount of aloe soothed it. But the good part about it was that I got to sleep in a lot and there was a Star Wars marathon on tv. You never really appreciate the original Star Wars until there is nothing else on. Granted the last time I had seen episodes 4-6 was when I was 3 and didn't understand them. But over all I still love Star Trek more. XD

I'm so excited! Prom is in like 2 weeks!!!! I can't post about my dress or anything because my bf sometimes reads my posts and we can't have him finding out what I'll look like.

Last week was the United States premiere of Doctor Who!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE Doctor Who! I miss David Tennant so much but I'm really happy with Matt Smith. Nothing says I'm a good Doctor like "Beans are evil. Bad, bad beans." Made my life.

Good Morrow!

I know it's been a while since I posted last, about 5 weeks. But in total fairness I have been super busy, doing nothing of any importance, but still busy. XD

Well for all of you who follow me (You know who you are XD), you have prob been wondering what happened in regards to the Killers concert. Joao ended up going with me (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!). So we drove up to Tampa and walked around the USF campus. Finding no food in the process, honestly what college campus has NO FOOD??!!!!!

We we hung out in my car in the parking lot waiting for the doors to open and we started texting. Only cool people text whle sitting less than 2 feet away from each other. The concert started and we kept texting through the opening act (a band called Chairlift, they are pretty good when you can understand what the singer is saying). I found out that he liked me too and wasn't pretending to like me just so I would be happy.

Later in the evening as we drove back, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I happily accepted. The next night we went on a double date with his sister and her BF to see the movie "All About Steve", which was rather good.


A lot has happened since then seeing how we just celebrated our 1 month. I love him so much.

Hey.
It's been a week since I last posted and frankly I don't remember posting. I just listen to what LJ tells me and it says that I posted a week ago.

So school has been more than great, I have the highest grades I've ever had in high school, which are soon going to go down thanks to Algebra 2. I hate math so much. I have Academic Olympic try-outs on Wednsday, I can't wait. I hope I get in it seems like so much fun. I know i'm a a dork, but you wouldn't have me any other way XD.

Oh! I can not wait for Friday! Killers concert anyone? XD XD XD Well I don't have anyone to go with yet. Well I asked Joao but I have not received an answer yet :-( I really want him to go with me. But if Joao can't go I want Kirstin to come with me so then we can have a sleep over XD Either way is good with me, but everyone knows which I prefer.

Last night I had the weirdest thought occur to me. I think I want to take cooking classes, but don't tell my mom she has been trying to get some for the last 5 years. It has partly to do with last night's House and partly because I want to be a housewife when I grow up.

So here I am, sitting on the couch. Eating soup and watching the History Channel (YAY learning!)

I hate being sick soo much. At least I don't have Swine Flu like Joao does. That would be horrible. I'm planning on bringing him soup today after Jess comes home from school or before band practice. I know I prob shouldn't go but I don't want to get behind in marching and twirling. Either wasy it's going to suck.

Well I want to bring him soup because if I was sick I would want to know my friends cared about my getting better. But I'm kinda scared that I'll push him away. He is aware that I like him and I don't want to ruin ANY chance I have with him, no matter how small it may be.

Why does Cupid hate me so? I have been nothing but a follower in my heart. Love is Life. I have always believed this. So why is it punishing me? Too many thoughts in my head.



Wanna know something weird? Lately I have been thinking that I want to join the ministry or start my own. I know it's weird.

What do the people in the title have in common? Well for one thing they are all in Shakespere's plays and they are also victims of unrequited love. The first person in each pairing being the one in love and the latter person in each group is not in love with the first. I wrote these people because I am a victim of unrequited love. Ok, well not excatly love but I like a guy but he does not like me. I like this boy but I am afraid that he will not like me anytime in the future. He does like dating in high school and we are in high school so....

I hope that one day he will like me but the chances of that are not very likely. He is perfect. We have similar tastes in literature, politics, music, humor, video games (kinda), and other things. I know he would treat me right as well. But I have not told him yet. It's not time to do so.

One of my friends told me that "he" (The guy I like) told him (my friend) that he knows that I like him. I kinda filpped when I found out. It's totally not time and I was scared that things would be awkward. Basicly my friend and my crush were talking about how my crush feels about me. I told my friend that I didn't want to know, and it's true I don't. I told my friend that my life was ruined and my friend just told me to brood. I am assuming the worst, that he doesn't like me. I was stunned I hadn't even begun to, for the lack of a better term, whoo my crush. Ok maybe not whoo but try to get him out of the "friend zone".

My friend didn't try to tell me not to fret or to be utterly depressed. I was sad none-the-less. I feared that I had no chance with him, something I didn't want to hear. I didn't even have a chance to have a chance. It was just taken away from me. My other friends reminded me that this one friend was mean to me and that he only said things to bother me and make me sad, (all of which is true sadly).

My crush doesn't date in HS because he is all academia and not love life. It's pretty much a "love can wait" kind of attitude. I personally think he says that because no one has really shown an intrest before and this mind-set is a way of coping. I hope I have not fooled myself into believing this only to have my heart shattered, once again.


Everyone talks of senior year being the best. But I am getting the feeling that this year is going to suck big, hairy balls. I don't see any of my friends during the day and they are almost always to busy to do anything during the weekend (damn you IB!!!). I have less frinds than I did last year and things just seem different. More cold, more heartless. More alone. I kind of want to skip this year and just go to college where I will begin a new part of my life and the pain of this year will be forgotten, replaced with new feelings and people. I want this but then I don't, I don't want to leave the friends that I have. I love them too much. Maybe that's my problem. Loving too much. Can that be a problem? My ex told me that I loved him too much. I don't even know what that even means. Can you love too much? Too little? I want to know. I can't control how much I love. I just do.

This was the first day in a while where I was completely happy almost the entire day. I loved it.

I got up around 9am (very early for me) and beached myself on the couch with my lappy and was on egl all day. On it I found that girl from my Personal Fitness class. I spotted her from her default pic, which by the way was gorgeous. After that I chatted with Joao on skype and went to Publix with my dad.

We made beef stew for tomorrow's dinner (we are lazy fools!) and chicken and rice for tonights dinner. After dinner I decided that I wanted to bake some cupcakes so I went to the store and bought "funfetti" cake mix and matching icing. I baked the 24 cupcakes and frosted them. I am bringing one or two to school for Joao and Kirstin. I'm so bad at frosting but oh well, they still looked cute.

So that's my day. It's 9:35 and I want to be in bed by 12 so I have to start on my homework shortly if I'm expecting to have it finished. AND I have a math quiz tomorrow. Fun.

Goodnight!!!

It's been a while since I posted last. I have had many changes in my life since I last posted so I shall update my life to all of you nonexistent readers out there.

1. Me and my boyfriend James have broken up.
2. I am now 18 years old! w00t!
3. I am now a senior in high school! Class of 2010!
4. I am trying to become a "real" lolita.

That's about it. My time this year is all about homework and college applications, ew. This year is going to be so expensive. I have homecoming, prom, and the Orchestra trip. Homecoming = $50. Prom = $100. Trip = $600-740. That's about $1,000 I don't have. I hate my job and plan on quitting as soon as I find a job that won't make me want to kill myself. Honestly, I want to die every time I step into American Eagle. I pray that a nice job falls into my lap. Like Books-a-Million or anywhere where I actually like, unlike AE. I've been there since 2007. I hate it there now. I have not worked a shift since early June. I know I'll have to start again soon, and I'll dread every minute of it.

Ever since I met Kirstin I have wanted to start sewing. Loli clothes are so expensive ($100-$400 a dress). S sewing them seems like a good alternative.
maybe I'll beg Jess to buy me a dress for Christmas XD. I will. Loli is just so pretty. This girl, Rachel, in my Personal Fitness class is Lolita. She has 3 dresses, 1 blouse and 2 skirts. I'm so jealous.

I'm gonna end this post soon. Goodnight!